2007 -Wow!

In the family Christmas Letters we sent this year, I wrote about my grandfather passing his view on time. "The older you get, the faster it goes." And as I type my year-in-review in the early AM of New Years Eve 07-08, I can do nothing but confirm pop-pop's hunch.

2007 started right, after having my first Holiday Season as a married man with my beloved wife Lysa and step-daughter Kayla. We had been living together over a year to that point and had dated Lysa for several years prior so it wasn't our first Christmas together, but Christmas 06 was extra-special. As Lysa said to me- and often- "Our first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Kaminski!". Little did we know it was also nearly our last.

February 12, 2007. Nearly. Close. Almost. The love and prayers from family and friends were the only thing that kept me alive. I thank God and thank all of you. Great teamwork!

Lysa says to me last night that for Valentine's Day this year she would like to do something EXTRA special, since the last one we spent in the hospital. I didn't let her see, but it made me cry. (She was so strong about all of that mess, and still is. She is gonna get a big head if I keep telling people about her.) But I agree- Valentine's Day this year is going to be very special.

Well, I got out of the hospital and on to rehab at home with drainage bags hanging from my ribs. I don't think I told many people, but all the pain and nightmares I experienced were worse than I ever let on. I just wanted to move on.

But after I got well enough, I tried to return to work. I missed all those guys! Well, shit happened between the manager and I and he pushed too far. I will never forgive him for some of the things he said. Ouch- I shudder to think when Karma catches up. Long story short, I had a doctor appointment and didn't go back. Not the wisest thing I could have done- especially as a reaction. But I never had words hurt like that.

So, my return to work lasted a whole month and was finished by the end of August. But a couple weeks later, I ended up being offered 2 jobs within days of each other. Ugh.. turns out the one I chose laid me off two moths later, just weeks before Christmas. Man, can I pick 'em or what?

But Christmas was just awesome regardless of all the assholes who were in any way detrimental to the lives of me and my family. AWESOME!

Ok.. let's wrap this up. IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE, and dammit, I am gonna have me the GREATEST YEAR EVER. They gonna need to give me a TV show on VH1. You watch. Somehow. Someway.

I learned a lot this year. A lot about people, life, and bullshit. As much as I want to say I ain't ever gonna let the BS get to me I know it will, it's in my nature. But I am gonna work hard to just say "Eh, so what?" when I can get away with it. I am gonna make more time for family, friends and FUN. I've got to stop and enjoy life more than I used to. Yeah, responsibilities need to be taken care of.. and they will be.

But life is too damned short!

I've already made plans for next year, have a few hopes and dreamed up a few schemes. Some home repairs, bike upgrades, and weekend get-away rides with Lysa are on the books. But last-minute spontaneous events need to become more frequent.

Make sure you take time to enjoy life as well, hell, enjoy it with me if ya have to, but do it! Make sure you tell those you love that you do love them.. don't assume or take it for granted! Don't be too proud or stubborn, because you never know what the next intersection holds.

Ok, I know this is long and I let my brain wander.. and got busy after I started it this morning and ended up finishing it over 12 hours later.. so I end this now.

Happy New Year, and all my love to everyone!

I've returned!

Well, I have not been messing with any emails, posting on forums, nor even thought about this blog for the better part of 2-3 weeks.. probably longer on the posting and blogging. Don't get me wrong- I've really wanted to take the time to get into all the issues that are going on in our state, the country and the world. It's a good mental escape at the least and helping others - even helping those helping others- are great end results.

However, all that had to stop for a bit as I was looking for work and holy shit, it is a pain in the ass. I actually found a couple jobs that would have been acceptable early on during the search- if I was single- and 23. But a little patience and diligence paid off.

I was contacted by a headhunter/temp agency who did not initially explain their intent, and I blew it off. The following day I got a call from an email from a company who does both sales and installation of drop ceilings of various applications, and a few other specialty construction items. We emailed back and forth to arrive at an interview point and I went that afternoon. All went well and felt they were very interested.

The headhunters were not done. They called the next day asking once more if I was interested and gave a better explanation. I decided it was worth checking out.

The hiring company was based in England, with several small satellite offices worldwide (South Africa, Philippines, Australia and the good ol' USA.) They locate, buy and sell various items worldwide to continuous heavy duty industry.

Now, the place I interviewed with had called earlier in the day and offered a position, and even though the pay was a little light, the overall package was not bad and I accepted. So, when the second company asked me for salary requirements, I reached a tad. Not crazy, but pretty high.

Whew.. lost yet? So, the next day is Friday and I am scheduled to start the construction sales job on Monday and the UK company called and stated their interest, and made an offer. It was less than I had asked, and told them no. I made them another salary request and they said they would call Monday.

Hehe..

Yep. They called. And offered the money I asked for. I should have said 'tentatively', but I only said 'I accept', and said so while at work, of course. They wanted me to get my passport together to fly me over to the motherland for tea and training for about 2 weeks. So, before I did anything further, I sat down with one of the owners of the company informing him of my situation. Well, would ya believe he wanted to set down and talk about it? Well, he did, and we did. He ended up making the numbers work (close enough, anyway) to keep me abroad.

Now, the company from UK has since sent me an offer sheet for me to sign and return- which I have not- yet. I intend to send them an email Thursday night informing them of the developments. I'm curious if they will try and make a counter-counter offer or are just going to cut their losses and move on.. guess I'll know tomorrow.

Story over? Stay tuned!

Bam..

Well, a lot of things have happened since I've last blogged. Wait, that's a lie. Actually, not too much has happened but what DID occur has had me so pissed-off, confused and many other descriptive words that my poor brain - already adverse to normal function due to the accident - went into meltdown . Initial instinct wanted me to get on here just about immediately after afore mentioned occurrence and post the plethora of four-letter words that were freshly practiced verbally and certainly plentiful, but out of respect for those that peruse this blog I wanted to take time to sort my thoughts and ensure the ensuing rant would be accurate without every 3rd word rated xXx. That being said, this is a long story but I will make every effort to keep it a quick and easy read.

I was excited when the insurance companies and doctors approved my return to work after the accident. The company either couldn't fill my position with a worthy candidate during my absence or they truly tried to wait and see if I could return within a timely manner and reclaim my job. I believe they couldn't find anyone, but being as I had over 5 years in and I really enjoyed the job and most of the employees, it was a no-brainer. It was a huge step mentally and looked forward to again being a productive slave for da man, um- rather, a productive member of society.

Immediately, I sensed things were different everywhere in that building, and with every employee - and that was before I even got to add sugar to my coffee. After a near 5 month absence, I felt it proper to reintroduce myself to everyone and share my appreciation for the many thoughts and prayers. Turns out that 3 of the 9 people I spoke with that morning  pulled me aside to fill me in on some ugly stuff going on the past few months, and since I trust those that gave the scoops I became worried. Just over an hour into my first day back and I am already bumming. One hour later, a customer came to return a rental. Upon completing the paperwork we walked to the yard to get his truck unloaded and a mechanic on a forklift offered help and since I needed a forklift, I accepted. But somehow, in the eyes of the store manager, I was wrong. I was scolded for not going to get a forklift myself. I shrugged it off and got the customer on his way and then approached the manager to explain I didn't ask anyone to do anything, and the mechanic just happened to be there at the right time. Didn't matter, I was wrong, and was told I needed to do things for myself. I just agreed and went on with my day.

I started my second day determined to just start new. Ridiculous I needed to think that, but I figured maybe I was indeed somehow wrong and maybe I was just a little sensitive since the accident or something.

Part of the reason I enjoyed working there was that everyday presented new challenges but the core personnel worked together, like a family, to get the job done. There were ups and downs like anywhere else but I stayed because of the people. I was a salesman but did whatever it took to help everyone, and the last few weeks were an example of that. Due to vacations and being short employees I found myself working as a mechanic 7 days out of 10. Whatever, I didn't mind. I did what I could so the real mechanics could focus on other things.

Now, on Tuesday I had started early to open the store and stayed late because some things needed to be done. The next day I was called and asked to come in late because I had too many hours and they didn't want to pay me O.T. Quite ignorant, I thought, but again, whatever. I am just an employee doing as told.

So Thursday morning, this manager asks me for 'project x', and I tell him it's not ready, and after he asks why it's not complete I tell him 2 reasons. First, it's hard to complete office work when I am in the yard and garage. Secondly, when I am asked to work only 4.5 hours on the days I am in the office projects are difficult to complete.

Just before I am preparing to leave for my appointment the manager wants to chat. Well, kind of. He starts by raising his voice saying I should not question his decisions of the hours I work. I tried to comment when he started yelling, about what I don't know. I started blocking it out because I knew it was stupid and pathetic. But I started laughing  when he said that my numerous and never-ending doctor appointments were becoming detrimental to the business. He then stated that my injuries were not allowing me to completely and correctly complete my work. Yes, I was laughing, because I have never heard such BULLSHIT in my life. I have always given my all. I have always done my job, and sadly enough at that place, half the work of others. I am willing to do whatever, whenever, in order to satisfy the customer. And upon my return since the accident, I have NEVER once said I could not do something because of an injury. NEVER.

As his conversation ended, he also mentioned that if I was not able to cool off by the time my appointment ended to just go home for the day. I suppose he was afraid of more overtime?

I didn't know what to think. I was just disrespected to the point I wanted to rip out his throat. After my appointment I went home. I probably should have returned to work but I could not. After going what I went through just to live, and I have to hear this kind of shit? All I wanted was to return to work, return to life, and show I was back! But this asshole has a bad day and finds me an easy target.

I got a call from his assistant asking if I was coming back, and I simply said no. He asked if I was coming back the next day, and again, I said no.

Because of my actions, I am ineligible for unemployment and I can't file any real complaints because I never put any in prior to that day. So now I worry because I have no job, but plenty of bills. I still have responsibilities, but no way to take care of them. I let my pride take over, and I stress more and more everyday because of it. The job market isn't real healthy right now, and I think I've stressed myself to the point I am now sick.

I went from the highest of highs after beating death to now feeling low and extremely miserable over concern I will not be able to care for my family.

I don't have a way to close this entry, and the writing is not my best and even when considering it is a rant, it's difficult to read. If you have read all this, my apologies.